The Juiciest Slices Pt. 2

by The Pineapple Army

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Well, we figured we might as well give you as much music as possible from the 'Month Project' recordings which was the first thing The Pineapple Army worked on together. The original intention was to compose twelve albums, one for each month and each album have a track for each day in the month. It was a lofty goal and was thus never really reached but a cubic fuckton of music was still pumped out over the year and half we worked at it.

This along with Juiciest Slices Pt. 1 are what TPA think are the best/catchiest/least shitty songs from the project. We tried pulling a song from each month and doing one 13 track album (two December songs) but there were just too many songs to choose from so I had to make it a 'double album' and then there was that whole Greg thing where he wanted his badass rap taken down and I replaced it with 5 other songs and by that point everything was all fudged up. I decided to keep them relatively even so I went and picked a few more songs to tack onto Pt. 2 and that's what we have now. If this compilation is well received and people want it, we might put out a Pt. 3. If you want it, let us know! It's not hard to make these albums! Songs are already recorded guys! Anyways, thanks for supporting us. We love you all and we're working on giving you NEW music soon.


released 25 December 2013

Eric Christopher Bennett as Jollybeard
Alexander Abraham Phillips as Goldenboy
Thomas Andrew Massengill as Thomm Massivegills
David Hyde Pierce as DPz
Michael Steven Everett as Mizzle

additional lyrics by Jeffy 2 Step




feeds for this album, this artist
Track Name: An Unexpected Subzero Crucifixion
The shiver down my spine
pounding spikes like a runway.
The dilemma stretches time,
sucking up verbal display.
The more you try to get away
the tighter it becomes.

I might as well be frozen
with an icepick in my side
and a spiral for a halo.
Wines getting in my eyes.
The more I pull the more it hurts,
the weaker I become.

I might as well be invalid
cause I guess I'm bad at being an invalid
because of all I did.
Track Name: Black History
Everything your fathers done up to this point is kicked under the rug.
All the dedication in preparing a democracy, tainted by the thug.
Remove the white anxiety. Let's try to raise variety.
The moving things inside of me look similar to yours.

Oh, what a dark time;
like nothing every happened,
because nothing ever happens,
because nothing ever changes.
Track Name: The The The Song
I uppercutted an alien on my first try.
I tried to battle dyslexia but I failed.
I solved the problem of sound without looking
at the orchestra of orphans right in front of me.
I'm going deaf the more I'm getting cold.
I'm taking seven kinds of pills to keep me feeling okay.
I sank a treasure every time you thought I robbed a bank.
I never would anything like that to fix the economy.
Horrible humans dressed in debonaire disguises,
clowns in coverup in many different sizes
so you laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh
and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh
and have a good time.

I got a monkey and a bushel of asparagus.
I eat my veggies everyday like I'm an octopus.
I put a tax upon the House of Representatives.
I'm sending letters to their house, prove I know where you live.
The information that I'm getting isn't fundamental.
A pound of sassafras could almost turn me governmental.
The alcoholic is a genie in a federal of dispute
for custody of nothing. Somethings coming over you.
Equestrians are testing, messing with the levers,
letting Irish Setters setting records, effort is the only ending.
Another child missing, amplified in AMBER listing.
I blame everyone who's listening. Their interest is, you know, iffy.
But, if your dime a dozen skies don't end up in Jamaica,
carpet a new cocoon and see how far that rug will take you.
It's not a polyurethane practice like an automatic
but it has power like a politician stopping traffic.
Track Name: Through the Rat's Mouth
Overdose, comatose.
"I'm verbose," I boast,
"a toast to our good health."
But in hell the Devil sells the drugs, do tell.
I've been there twice and fell as well.
I ate the food he made himself.
The church bells echo, linger, dwell.

It's raining rodents, cats and dogs.
Testify the data logs.
If you consume, leave enough room
to foresee your fortunate doom.

Overload, poison toad.
Get the measure. Make it known.
Stay with me until I die
or at least roll back my eyes.
I didn't see it coming
or the vermin running,
running from the treants.
Let us flee.
Track Name: Don't Tell Dave
Don't tell Dave or the monster will eat you,
meet you at the door then start to creep out.
His mouth is a vacuum spout and he'll
suck our your blood and cause a drought.
If you chat with the Mexicant, I'm sorry man.
You fucked up, that's that.
Get a little bit fat. Get a lotta bit beat
when your feet get eaten by a ten foot creature.
Save your lip and button it up.
You should've learned your lesson, hate to bust ya nuts,
but it's about that time that you feel the cut
then your brain falls out like, "dude." "WHAT?!"
Put yourself together cause you look like shit.
Now the monster makes an appetizer out of your skin.
He's got your epidermis in an enchilada,
cuttin' you up into you by-products.

Here's a sad, sad story 'bout a guy I know.
He showed up to my house with an ounce of dro.
I said, "That's straight. Just don't tell Dave."
But he did and now he ain't got no face.
When you have a secret, it's hard not to keep it,
unless you want all your organs secreted,
and turned into a liquid and froze in a freezer
and used as refreshments when quenching is needed.

Don't tell Dave or the monster will eat you.
Track Name: The Stone
Take it back with a fruit filled lollipop.
Plop it on your head and drop it 'til you don't stop...
I mean 'go'. Like you didn't know.
I'm sedated and elated to blow out your blowhole.
Jonah and the whale, like a Dane Cook joke,
like a bottle of Coke that Doc Dave stole.
There's certain things that we get that you just don't
and we feel bad that you had to go,
but a bitch is a bitch and a ho is a ho,
and you were both, and we could tell.

So, if we see you around we'll be sure to say 'yo'
but why'd you have to go and throw the stone through the window.

I've been puttin' up signs for 23 days.
Has anybody seen my homie Doc Dave?
If you could respond, the numbers 558...
I forget the rest cause I'm so fuckin' baked.
I just bought this 20 dollar bag of skank,
got the pineapple flavoring and I'm ready to blaze.
Smoked out of Lucifer 'til I'm in a haze.
If I could only pass this bowl to Doc Dave...
But he's probably smokin', chokin',
and rollin' a blunt and tokin' that shit until his face is broken,
until both of his eyes are floating in the back of his head
where they'll remain 'til he's dead.
Now he can't see shit, oh wait, he grew new eyeballs instead.
Then we hacked into his Myspace and deleted us as friends
and we never ever never never saw him again.
Sometimes I miss him and sometimes I almost text him.
Oh, did I mention, Doc Dave is a Mexican?
Track Name: Mexitron
Deep below the earth is a pulsating pile of afterbirth.
Just when you thought that the threat was gone,
out pops that old Mexitron.
He's been living amongst us for centuries,
in the middle of the Earth, hundred ten degrees,
crashed the Titanic in the middle of the sea,
killed Kurt Cobain and Eazy-E.
The noise subsides. Could you peak outside?
Dear God, why!? We're all gonna die
by the hands of a guy who made fat ladies cry
who made reindeer fly every time he gets high.

Look up into the sky.
It's a bird. It's a plane. It's a Mexican guy
shooting red laser beams out of his eyes.
Burn a hole in your face so that you don't even try
to combat Mexitron.

"Ole! Would you like a taco sir?"
"No thanks. I'm a real Mexican robot and I don't eat tacos, Senior.
That shits disgusting. I would rather just smoke a blunt"
I would rather just smoke a blunt with Mexitron.
We would all rather smoke a blunt with Mexitron.
C'mon let's smoke a blunt with Mexitron.
When you combat Mexitron with Mexitron.
Track Name: Vampire Watermelon
Don't even think for a second I'll forget this.
I can hold a grudge like nobody's business.
I'll alienate God just because he was a witness
but I'm not about to trade love for forgiveness.

My head is tipping over so make yourself at home.
Horizons smother sunlight to make their presence known
but my body isn't keeping up with the sound of chimes.
Intelligence will show you aren't even inside your mind.

I feel automatic.
My media static is overwhelming.
Appreciate standards to the medias telling
to oversell you.

My vampiric watermelon stomach is expanding.
I ate too much too fast.
Now I feel like my life is flashing
right in front of my hands.

All the knowledge I used to adore
has taken it's vacation evermore.
I ruined everything that I ignored.
I know not what i do this for.
Track Name: Cubism
The Judge and the Jury fucked.
They had a baby, they gave it a guillotine,
let it go crazy. They called their monstrosity:
The Executioner.

I'm strictly constricting.
I'm bluntly restrained.
I'd give myself to stay the same.
I didn't want Winter to come this soon.
I'm flooding the Sun and I'm strangling the Moon.

Bleed the colors I know you can.
Shape the sky with mixed emotion.
I see you have enough hands
so I'll leave you all alone.
Track Name: Lindsay Lohan (T.I.L.F)
That's not a kite in the sky, it's a hurricane
flying across the world like an acid dropped brain.
It's a plane and a train and a trip to the woods,
headed deeper in search for the long lost goods.

With a flick and a flutter it destroys what it finds.
Better backtrack, back up the hard drive in your mind
branded on your corneas and hone in on your target.
Recall your mission to never let yourself forget.

We are constantly improvising, improving our plan
'til every man, woman and child has become a fan.
We work until our fingers are worn to the bone
then we stop, take a break, take a nap and go home.

We're the kings of a new born society
fresh from the thighs of Lindsay Lohan,
a pregnant goddess with a broken hymen.
Trip the fantastic in the clothes that you will die in.
Track Name: 20 More Naggers
C'mon and get ready like Wilma and Betty.
Gettin' heavier when ya sweaty.
You're a pedigree. Steady.
You really ought to be trendy.
You bought my CD just to see me.
Really seedy, how you bein'.
So I will see you when you sleepin'.
Gotta sneak in when I'm creepin'.
Set my peepers on the cretin.
Gonna treat him like beacon
in the distance beepin' freedom.
Leave him leakin' like a sink
then beat the stinkin' enemy.
I think I really like this beat,
but it ain't over have a seat.
When I spit these words it's from the heart.
I mean everything from the end to start.
Appreciatin'. Fuckin' bake a cake and
make the bitch delicious,
but I ain't doin' the dishes.
No, I ain't doin' the dishes.
Track Name: Curbstomp JK Rowling (Benjamin Beezy and Ronald Weasley)
Old King Cole was a merry old soul
and a merry old soul was he.
He called for his pipe and he called for his bowl
then them mothafuckas smoked weed.

This is just a song about smokin' a blunt,
drinkin' alcohol and gettin' real fucked up.

Old King Cole is a fuckin' asshole
and he rides in a limousine.
He called you a bitch and he called for a ho
and he ruptured your brother's spleen.
(Now that's mean)

When I was born I was grey and decrepit,
ugly, rejected, downright disrespected.
I'm infected by your genetics.
Let's get a mob and kill Alexa Vega.

It's another song about smokin' a blunt.
Yeah, I did it again mothafucka. So what?
It's all that I do man. What do you want?
A fuckin' medal or something?
Should I roll you a blunt? YES!!
Success, you correctly guessed
the answer the question that the teacher asked.
You passed. You're finally done.
Pimpin' is a science here in Smokin' 101.

This is just a song about goin' to school,
gettin' good grades and obeyin' the rules.
Track Name: Licelike
Why is it so easy to knock things down with wires?
I was commenting on your lack of applications.
Then I noticed you're not even a word
but I kept on cutting deeper.

I stuck my hands into the slits
like arm-warmers that let you touch your ribs.
I pulled until I felt it rip
and kept and pulling.

Suck the blood to sell to merchants creeping in the alleys.
Hunt them down, fine-tooth comb and shoot them in the head.
Pull the blanket off the floor and crawl into the door,
seal it up behind us and toss aside survival
but keep on praying for a way out.
Track Name: Funeral for a Famous Person
I'm a quatrain on the tracks behind the abandon building that you drag virgins to.
I'm a meta for Darfur when it needed an alpha.
I'm the pick of the patch in a barrel of brine pickling like cucumbers in the sun.
I'm the best thing to happen to the worst people.
I'm the music stands a dwarf couldn't reach so she'll never learn to read.
I'm the back-masked crusader saving for personal gain.
I'm the golden boy with the pineapple heart
with the chocolate insides and you tear me apart.
I'm the last thing the early bird every sees.

I'm a head-phony singing songs I don't even know.
I'm the metro-gnome still jumping at the sheets.
I'm the synthe-size her up and see if she'll fit in a burlap sack full of rocks.
I'm a fifth of Jaegermeister with no double entendre.


I'm the jacket off the hanger. Where is my samaritan?
I'm a bible in the pocket of an atheist.
I am Michael Myers at Camp Crystal Lake.
I'm a beggar and I choose what I can take.
I'm a new approach to artistry. I'm harboring the energy.
The fallacy of wizardry is that it isn't meant to be.
Track Name: No Belt, No Drink
Are you a handsome man?
Dressed up and up again.
Are you a young boy
pressed up to the TV?
Chirping like crickets,
smoked into lazy.

Why are you so quiet?
Why are you so slow?
Plenty left behind, it doesn't mean the grass won't grow.
Track Name: Always Falling
Make it little.
Make it big.
Help acquire, help to give.
As the snow falls we think back
back when leaves fell bring us back.

Make a grandstand.
Make it big.
Lead the country like stuffed pigs.
As the snow falls we look forward
to next leave fall, falling toward.

Towers that used to represent
conglomerates that went and spent
the last of mutual common sense
that lead to the death of confidence.
So if we sober up and repent
we'll fall back into the grace of God again.
Back where we were. Forgot what we meant.
Follow the leader wherever he went.

As the snow falls they all looks the same.
Track Name: Zombie Jam Redux
So, won't you tell me whats eating you alive?
And it's in you. So it's in me and it's tearing
limb from broken limb.

And so, now it's in you. So it's in me.
Now we're turning. I can feel alive,
or die.
Track Name: Back in the Day
Chillin' drinkin' 40s.
Makin' fuckin' s'ghetti.
Playin' fuckin' Halo, smokin' down with a fatty.
Ashin' cigarettes and a fuckin' no-scope.
B-X-R bitches got no hope.
I'm at the skate park.
I'm at the hockey rink.
Vodka, SoCo, makin' mixed drinks.

That's my shit.
That's my shit, bitch.
That's my shit.
Gimme that.

Back in the day,
man in the first grade,
behind the see-saw
smokin' J's.
Ever since that day we've been chill.
Blowin' up the scene and flashin' our grills.
I drive a Saturn, cruisin' in a Grand Am.
We raped your mom.
Bitch was a grand slam!

Dave gets drunk, turns into a mime,
pukes in the trashcan, brought a dime.
360 got jacked by Black Man Knight.
Broke my door, we got in a fight.
Fuckin' heard a voice, was Nick Jones.
Shit, grabbed a bat and said, "what up Holmes"

Muthafuck did chahurme?!