I woke up bewitched
How did I arrive in the Things Betwixt?
Blinkin' my eyes, I picked up a stick
Started swinging it blindly, miss after miss (after miss, after miss)
I've already died
The last that's clear is it's one giant eye
And a mouth full of teeth being closed around my inability
Burnin' an effigy, namin' my character, learnin' my history
Makin' my way through tutorials
Skippin' the lesson, ended up in the Boreal
Rewind, reset, come across the memorial
How many people have died tryin' to conquer their horrible fate
"Chosen Undead" you all laugh in my face
Emerald Herald will show me the way
Seek out the King, he's the ruler
But I will usurp and become the leader of Majula

I trekked through the forest defiantly
Killed the Last Giant, he ripped off his arm and he died
Then I felled the pursuer, got to the Cathedral of Blue a bit later
Slain the Dragon Slayer
Awe, man, I'm tired, I need to refill my estus
Sit at the bonfire, take a rest, but
I'm only halfway through my quest, fuck!
Get back up, I'd consider me a winner
Soul Speared the Iron King and Estoc'd the Lost Sinner
Came upon the Rotten and reduced him to a major
Cut off both the heads of the Duke's Dear Freja

Bring all the souls to the castle, my goal
Get betrayed by the Queen just like Vendrick of ole
Realize that I've done this a thousand times over
And accepted my fate as the chosen Dark Soldier