We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

The Juiciest Slices

by The Pineapple Army

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
Car Wars 04:05
Calling all heroes, today is your day to be someone or die on the way, but for now you will remain on the side, bland and plain. Let the white noise steal you away, back to the hours you used to save. Remember? Limousines drive and taxi cabs die. Semi-trucks are stupefied. Cellphones ring and teenagers sing. No ones hearing anything as the two cars collide.
2.
I'm an embarrassed bitch. I spend money like I think I'm rich. I'm so broke I can't be fixed. I'm so scary you can call me It said I'm so hairy like Cousin Itt Fire to my face and chahurr the sizzle. Pursed to my lips, but it ain't no whistle. That's why motherfuckers be callin' me E-Bizzle cause I got the gifts. Now come get a fistful. We're so fly, yeah, we the bees knees. Come 'round here and blaze the bleezeys. They hit the weak spot like Achilles. Pass while the weeds hot, bitch, it's easy Only roads I walk are Abbey. Only those who want can gave me. Tears for Fears must have some bad dreams (I can't breathe) Cats are lax and cataracts attacks the backs of pupil sacs and Max just acts like fatty acids don't react to flaccid plastic. I ain't eat no watermelon. Y'all can check my germs. I be playin' X-Box and dissectin' little worms. I went to Colorado and I got myself a perm. Bitch, we playin' Uno and I skipped your turn. Then the beat goes missin' and you bitches never learn that when you sharp as a knife then you gonna get hurt and when you hard like butter then you gonna get churned and when y'all hear me rap y'all just say, 'word'. Word.
3.
You've been a bad, bad girl with no excuse. You played the holding cell, now you have no use. No more pretty house. No more Dr. Seuss. This is only life and it was made for you. So start breathing, stop sleeping, give blinking a try. You've been an alright guy with no complaints. You played the prison guard who doubled as a saint. No more steam pressed suit. No more fresh white paint. This is only life, no one had a say in how it was made. Start dying, stop breathing, give someone else a try. And for that moment, locked together, they saw the good in everything.
4.
When you have no place to go and you're feeling kind of low, I've got the hookup, yo. Just toss me my cellphone and I'll call Matt Pot and he'll show up and dropkick in my door then he'll throw a bag of weed in my face then he's back out the door ...and my moneys gone. Blunts so crazy/make you sic. Lungs implode when you puff that shit. Tastes like tropical bananas wearing Solid Snakes bandana. Gives you flashbacks: Vietnam. Infant ammo. Bitch, it's on! Sorry I got so off track. Just let me go back and state the facts: Matt Pot comes with some weed and then you smoke that weed. When you're on probation you can't be in rotation. What's the shiznit? Change the station. Tetra mixed with hydrodration. I feel like spandex with a trooper. i feel so extra super duper. I am nothing without the Giver I'm so thankful Matt Pot delivered.
5.
For the Deer 01:51
Dear oh dear! There's a deer over here and I fear that I hear something queer in my ear. Grab a spear and a beer it appears that we're going to fight for the right to enjoy sleep tonight. Keep the fire going. Keep it burning bright. You're right, the fright can't agree with empty appetite. So you hunt. Man oh man! You should've seen the blood span in the shoulder of the highway where they keep the cops at. It's probably those pigs takin' 'em down like that. Nothin' gets in the way of a cop when he's mad. When he can't reach the quota, DPz flicks a match then he throws it in the street that was presoaked with gas. He drives through the fire. When you do the math it's a charity for deers caught in countless bloodbaths. Geez-oh-Petes! Infernos in the streets and some unruly gentlemen be bumpin' to the beat. Get off your feet, spray on some DEET, go to the woods and get eaten or eat like a king. That's the thing when your cellphone don't ring, don't go into the dark where the crickets don't sing.
6.
Come here, sit down and shut up, get hit by a speeding bus and maybe it will knock some sense in makes some dents and leave a cut. Pay attention to infection not to mention tire trees. Harvest them. They're partisan. They're part of us. We're party-free. Come here, sit down and get chopped up. Tire trees 'round here get fucked. And they scream, "No more, please! We're just trees! We weren't doing anything, just keeping the peace!" And I say, "fuck y'all trees."
7.
I didn't come here to start a fight but we're gonna smoke a lot of gans tonight. So bring your bong and bring your pipe let's smoke a blunt, we got the right as Americans, we love our weed born in our blood, part of our country. Don't try to deny it. You've got the need. It's comin' your way, better puff that green. Call it common corruption, a disfunction junction. While you're bein' dunces we're pumpin' production. Come a little closer and I'll tell you something, "you'll fuckin' love it". I got a hunch that we'll legalize this bitch, put it in Bisquick, make some fuckin' pancakes, cover it in syrup. If you love it say 'hells yeah' Puff puff puff puff puff puff pass. If you love it raise your hand Puff puff puff puff puff puff pass. If you're hatin' then bitch back off when you puff puff puff puff puff puff cough. You think you're cool when you're nothin' at all cause you puff puff puff puff puff puff cough. (NOW GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE BITCH) I'm mad at how good that this song sounds. Can you feel that bass bumpin' underground? Can you smell that shit from across town? It's errywhere. We can't be found. We're anonymous, can't see our faces. Chron to kiss, now I lost my place... I'm mad at how good that this song sounds. I wrote that down. How now brown cow. I don't bullshit. I ain't kiddin' around. Venturin' verde while you're burning brown. Eight days later when you finally found in a ditch like a bitch while I'm frontin' a frown. i've been high for four years, twenty days and a month. I haven't came down since then, not once. I was high on probation when I took piss tests. Gibbs is a bitch. I will shit on his chest. When the clock is ringing overhead and churches are abandon, you know how many people are in the congregation. FOUR HUNDRED TWENTY AND COUNTING! When heaven is below the bar and all the bars are closed, how many drinks will you consume? FOUND HUNDRED TWENTY AND COUNTING! When planets use telescopes to rate you [1] to [10], you know exactly where you stand. FOUR HUNDRED TWENTY AND COUNTING! When intelligence is all that's left and you're the only prophet, how many years will we stay high? FOUR HUNDRED TWENTY AND COUNTING!
8.
I'm a librarian. I'm carrying this baby to caesarian. Get it gutted, marry it and hand it off to Damien. Get three figure sixes carved into both my wrists. It's vicious. Switches mixes that's ambitious. Fishes taste delicious, bitch. It's Van de Kamp's, handicapped and you can't fuckin' handle that. An ample track of amber with mosquitos getting trapped. Extracting DNA from dinosaurs, squeeze it into seven bars, flip the script and get your fix to you aren't fuckin' high no more. Reverse psychology, get you wantin' Jolly-B. Tickle you with tentacles. Cthulu's ghost is haunting me. Makin' me do all these things. Collard greens. Golly G. What the fuck do those things mean? I do not know. Will someone help me? Get me out of this repetition. Put me in the middle of a congregation. Conversation can't conquer diction. Donner, Blitzen, let's pound this bitch in. Somethings missing, probably drug addicted munchkins kickin' over buckets. Shit! Tornados comin! Hundreds buggin'! Bustin' slugs in the backs of the hundreds running away from the other people who are running along side them but they're dangerous, they're different, they're others. I give 'em wisdom with a drop of optimism. I got to drop the rhythm because I'm on a mission: adoptin' the hoppin' children, droppin' them in Montessori. Hopin' the Pope don't grope 'em when he reads 'em bed time stories. Everything I do is to better the world. That's why I read to the blind kids and I'm polite to girls. I give 'em everything and then I don't have anything. That's when they say they gotta leave and peace before I get to speak. It's killin' me. I don't want to be another Elliott Smith, I'd rather bleed out on the paper like an mc chris. I wanna be the one who knows where all the positive is. I'm moving on with this shit. It's time to Bela Lugosi. Bail out and go see Bella get goatse'd, gangbangin' werewolves, smokin' an oz. Fantasy role-play makes its way into fourth grade. Fuckin-A. What's the Pope say? I guess that it's okay. What it is! What is it? That's the question at hand. Finger sandwiches. Bandwidth is bad. It's downright bland. We gotta spice this bitch up. Add a pinch of this and that. It's missin' nothing, man. Play it back and then we'll bump the track. So basically, what I'm tryin' to say is 'follow your dreams'. You can achieve them motherfuckers, and I mean anything. You could build a time machine, commandeer a yellow submarine or you could sprout some wings, take off and say goodbye to everything. Hurry up cause you got nothin' to lose. You can't handle it when a mandolins philanderin' you with two shoes and tattoos and fat boobs too, stacked tubes, what have you, a SNAFU that's huge. Have feuds over who can sandwich which bitch and switch pinch hitters with some glitter on the Dixie Chick's dicks. That's right, the Dixie Chicks are hermaphrodites and so is Keith Urban.
9.
Team Green 01:25
Let's run out and get some Jager. Red Bull gives you bright red balls. We run out and back and drink it, bounce each other off the walls. Livin' like fat cats in small camps when the Jackpine Savages attack. Spiderwebs the size of cats but no one here to sell us bags!? Livin' like Lincoln's bachelor pad in the backwoods shaped like a mitten hand. Who says citrus fruit can't rap? Pineapples'll kick your ass! Bet ya ten bucks says yo crew won't last with an uppercut gun and a green smoke flash. Team Green feasting on pineapples Armies smoke and sing this song Team Green blowing up pineapples Armies chill and hit this bong Get a conscience with a a constant buzz. All you need: all this weed, the wonder drug. It cures cancer and spreads answers to the farthest reaches and we're coughing and tossing, flossing the life out of awesome. Blossom and flower forth, be the power source.
10.
If this box is a home, if these people are trash, than this is the real world and we have to move fast. If the ceilings a picture, if these walls are all fake, than this is the real world and it's time to make haste. If my friends are all samples, if these thoughts don't exist, than this is the real world and none of us fit
11.
David Hayter 02:07
Safe place; you'll never escape. I just want to see the sky again. I just want this captivity to end. I don't want to be in this box under the ground. I know who you are, but I can't get to you. Closed in; you'll never know the difference. I just want to touch the Earth again. I don't know why these things are happening but they're happening. I just want to know the meaning of. I don't need all these synthetic drugs.
12.
Snakefingers 03:02
It's a long and winding road out of this dark decaying dream and I've been waiting patiently to see a way out through the trees but I don't know what it all means; archaic door behind the leaves. So please don't wait for me to follow now the bottle is so hollow, now I've swallowed all my sorrow now the power grows to shallow for the people not to drown in and wallow around in all the opportunity to fondle a model. They come in these random orders, wrap around you, hold so tight. It's getting better all the time. You won't be lonely for the rest of your life. It's hard to place me at the scene let alone try to fit between the spaces made to intervene in all your choices as a teenage meat-machine. It doesn't mean that you can't bring one side of A over to B and finally see the good in everything. It takes a monument to become so irrelevant that we're becoming celibate, no reason but the hell of it. Inferior intelligence, I guess it's not the best to just pretend that we're defending and projecting that we're correct It's becoming more ridiculous to live like this. We look like fucking idiots. Let's go before they pity us. Okay, here comes the city bus. What could be more insidious? They're gonna ask us trivia and I don't think that I will hold up. Go on without me. Save yourself. No need for you to die as well. Get out while you still have your health but let me tell you how to settle every level of malevolence: it's elegance. Be more the simple peasants. Be more permanent. Be presidents. Light gets shut out. Black masking tape.
13.
Jambi Jam 01:47
14.
I lay here asleep inside a storage freezer. I just try to be different, it makes life easier. I've lived every Winter inside now it's time to go home. I can't come out early. They're expecting a show. Shovel on evolution by force. We'll make daddy proud. Show up genealogy. It doesn't know what it's talking about. My skin cracked and bitten by Jack's hungry jaws. My blue tinted lips I can't feel them at all. I do my best to try and sing songs but all that comes out is smoke when I talk. It doesn't know what it's talking about. I'm finally at the party. They all invite me in. Give me all that ecstasy now we're dancing skin to skin. A hot glass of water takes me up to sin. A steamy interaction; there's nothing in the end. (your guess is as good as mine...but:) Dancing. We're dancing. Always dancing. We're always dancing to the beat. Gonna freak it out, you see. Always dancing to the beat? Our hearts melted and stained the sheets. The city flooded and skipped some beats. Does this seem familiar? Does life just repeat? Does this seem familiar? Does life just repeat?
15.
I just cracked open my head. I let out the devils dwelling within. Straight up and out the door. I quit my life to pursue much more. PIss drunk and honestly the best of me would make a horrible CD. I'm not made of money. Music tasted, bitter honey. I'm taking off. I just split my wig in half and stood bewildered, cracked a laugh, pronounced delicately all my words but failed the challenge, broken, slurred. Ghosts that waste their time in bars could spend their time in backs of cars. Gone are the memories. Goodbye my melody. I'm taking off. Here it comes. I've lost my way. I'm taking off and I'm not coming back.
16.
Bamanemehnemeh Bamanemehnemeh Bamanemehnemeh Bamanemehnemeh
17.
We reverted back to 8-bit tracks so squares are all we know now. Evolution is a palindrome. The vastness of space will be our new home. Our casket is the womb we came from. We can't live here when there is none. We wen't back to losing that, that which provides us with all we know now.

about

The Juiciest Slices is a collection of songs by The Pineapple Army from about 5 years ago. Revel in all of it's pot-addled glory. For some reason they're trying to pass it off as a 'new' album. Personally, I think TPA has sold out. Rumor has it they're actually working on new NEW music so hopefully that'll come out in the next decade or so! Stay tuned!

credits

released December 13, 2013

JB- alluvum
AP- mostuvum
DPZ- sumuvum
G- suxaton
M- wonuvum

license

tags

about

The Pineapple Army Michigan

I've always been terrible at writing biographies so why stop now. We're probably a band from Michigan. We don't adhere to a specific genre which causes mild schizophrenia in certain individuals. We will write commercial jingles for the right price and we do NOT play at weddings, only funerals. ... more

contact / help

Contact The Pineapple Army

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Report this album or account

The Pineapple Army recommends:

If you like The Pineapple Army, you may also like: